Do you sometimes wonder if your partner sabotages you or is against you?
Every time we get into a relationship, we do it with the intention of create something beautiful that helps us grow and improve our lives.
However, we don’t always choose the right person and our relationship couple it becomes a constant struggle.
“At the beginning of relationships there is an immense attraction, we idealize the person and only look at what attracts us. Then we discover that we are psychologically incompatible,” says the clinical psychologist Christine Meinecke, author of “Everybody Marries the Wrong Person”.
Unfortunately, It’s not always that easy to accept that you’re wrong and that that situation should change or end.
When one sabotages the other in a relationship, the best perspective is from the outside. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to what your family and friends are telling you.
Remember only listen to the opinions of neutral and mature people. Here are the signs. Analyze them and find out if your relationship is sabotaging you:
1. He seems to be able to see only the negative
All relationships have positives and negatives. When your relationship sabotages you, you will find that you are always focused on seeing your negatives.
The problem is that he will only focus on you and always seem to be fine. Even if you see their mistake, it will be downplayed or compared to yours.
This attitude harms you because it makes you lose faith in yourself. Over time, it can lead to a lack of self-esteem and emotional exhaustion.
The doctor Stephen Betchen, family therapy specialistNote that some constructive criticism can be helpful, but if it’s a constant pattern that undermines you, it’s because you’re being abused.
If you notice this attitude it is important that you take control and that you remember that your mistakes do not condemn you in any way. If you take advantage of them correctly, they can even help you grow in all sorts of ways.
2. You feel stuck at work and he doesn’t even care
Of course, your work situation is your business and you are the only one who can make decisions and actions to improve.
However, that doesn’t mean your partner stops caring about that part of your life.
Your relationship sabotages you when instead of motivating yourself to find options to grow, minimize to all your efforts.
A classic example is when you’ve been working a lot on a project and he doesn’t listen when you tell him. At worst, he only makes destructive criticisms.
If your partner does this, don’t think it’s a blast of pure realism. Most often it has to do with a feeling of inferiority.
3. They don’t give a damn about your goals
We all have dreams and goals that we want to achieve. When your relationship sabotages you, you may find that:
That person doesn’t help you achieve those dreams
In this case, it is possible that they simply do nothing to support you.
For example, if you tell him that you want to exercise more and that you don’t like going for a walk alone, he may say that’s okay, but he won’t be interested in going out with you.
While you shouldn’t be looking for it to always do things that make your job easier, yes it is to be expected that he will make an effort to help you when he can.
It makes it difficult for you to go through the process necessary to achieve your goals
This is even worse than the previous point, because it’s really holding back your growth or advancement.
A clear example would be when you want to lose a few extra pounds by eating better and he comes home with a stash of junk food.
4. Your health suffers
In some cases you will know that your relationship is sabotaging you because your health deteriorates or suffers.
While you are a responsible adult capable of choosing, this is complicated when you are faced with situations that you have no control over all the time.
The most common thing is to suffer from stress if your partner criticizes you all the time and he seems to be eternally searching for his own mistakes.
Depending on the habits that person imposes, too more obvious physical problems may occursuch as heart problems or blood sugar changes.
With this you have to be very careful and act on time. Otherwise, your health may suffer in the long run.
5. You have lost your passion
When your relationship sabotages you, passion is hard to find.
We’re not just talking about the sexual aspect, which will also suffer. We refer to passion live, do new things and to challenge you every day.
This happens because that person has already convinced you that you are wrong.
Solve the problem of the partner sabotaging you
Remember that, just as you gave it that power, you can take it away. It won’t be easy, but you need to find new things that excite you.
He psychologist Ronald Reggio She recommends that in these cases you seek help and form a circle of support with friends, family and specialists.
Over time, you will regain control and the person may end up walking away from you. While that would be a sad situation, it might not be the worst-case scenario.
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