You’ve decided to end it, but you can’t get rid of the guilt at the end of the relationship. The truth is, it’s not easy. It takes great courage and tact to do the least harm to another. However, this doesn’t make you feel any better.
The first thing you should be clear about is that it’s completely normal for you to feel this way. It was you who made the decision to end the relationship and it is possible that your partner does not like it. Perhaps they became very sad or, in the worst case, reproached you that the problem was with you. Either way, you can get over that guilt.
Why does guilt appear?
Guilt is a very human feeling. Item Guilt and forgiveness in psychotherapy defines it as the attribution to a human agent of the cause of an evil. That human agent can be yourself, for which you blame yourself for having made a decision that we’re sure you’ve been thinking about for a while.
You feel responsible for what you are making someone who is no longer your partner experience and which generates obsessive thoughts. Guilt can be harmful if the other person insists on trying again, as you may be saying yes when you’re not truly sorry. Therefore, it is important that you know how to handle this feeling correctly.
Tips for overcoming guilt
There are many tips for overcoming the guilt of ending a relationship, but we have compiled a few that we consider to be the most important and effective. It is not easy to get rid of this feeling and you may need professional help.
But first you’ll see that there are things you can do to feel better and eliminate the guilt from your life.
1. Go back to the reasons that led you to make the decision
It’s normal to lose perspective when this feeling approaches you without compassion.. Therefore, it is very important that you rethink the reasons that led you to make the decision to end the relationship.
This will calm you down, allow you to breathe and move on with your life. If you want, you can write them in a notebook to read them when the guilt approaches you.
2. Change guilt into responsibility
This is not easy to do, but It is important to trade blame for responsibility. You need to know what your feelings are and make a decision about it.
Could you really forgive yourself for being with someone you no longer love? This is even worse, so reflect on that guilt.
It is clear that you do not like to see that person with whom you have shared so many moments suffer. However, you haven’t done anything wrong.
3. Stop your obsessive thoughts
You may have never stopped to analyze your thoughts, but many of them are negative. “Look what you did, you are a bad person, your partner loved you, you decided to lose her”.
When these ideas block your mind, the best thing you can do is stop your thoughts. A good way to do this is to say “Enough” when you detect it happening. Although practicing meditation can be of great help.
4. Don’t take responsibility for your partner’s feelings
To overcome the feeling of guilt when a relationship ends You should avoid taking responsibility for your partner’s feelings. I’m not your responsibility.
No one likes to be left behind; This is something that usually takes you by surprise and is not pleasant. But that doesn’t mean you should take responsibility for it. To make this easier for you, the following advice is essential.
5. Zero contact
Zero contact is a way to overcome a break in a relationship or emotional dependence, as the psychologist explains. Silvia Congost. It’s about removing your partner from your social networkslock it in Whatsappsee nothing of her.
This will not only help you, but your ex partner as well. It will allow him to heal sooner and you will be able to move the guilt better.
Guilt is to be expected when ending a relationship
Getting over the guilt of breaking up isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible either. It just requires patience, calm down and the opportunity to reflect on what happened.
Sometimes, despite the appearance of guilt, it’s better to break up than stay, as you’ll be doing more damage to the other person. What is the hardest thing for you about ending a relationship?
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