Houdini Syndrome refers to the 19th century Hungarian magician and escape artist. However, we will refer to a type of psychological and emotional avoidance that has a lot to do with the mechanism that operates avoidance.
This way, people with Houdini syndrome are characterized by occasional running away from work, obligations and relationships. In general, they tend to commit themselves quickly to an activity or relationship. However, the greater the commitment, the greater the need to escape it. Then, there comes a day when they just disappear.
People suffering from Houdini syndrome do nothing but reflect a deeper symptom that manifests itself, even on a social level, and which does not help establish healthy and lasting bonds between individuals. Now, why does this phenomenon occur?
Liquid society and modern bonds
Regardless of the era, there have always been people who have had a hard time making lasting connections and committing. However, our society is too individualistic compared to other historical periods.
Unfortunately, more and more, people are seen as mere means or objects. This situation does not invite you to think that, for example, friendships or relationships will last forever.
Nowadays, ties with others are more widespread and weaker. The impression is given that people are replaceable at all times and in all places. Nothing lasts forever anymore, and perhaps many will laugh at this concept.
Neither things nor relationships seem made to last. Weak ties are like shallow roots. At the slightest difficulty, everything collapses.
Stages of Houdini syndrome or emotional fugue
Houdini syndrome usually occurs progressively, in stages. We go from giving everything to disappearing, often without leaving a trace. Classically, the following three phases are distinguished:
- First phase of the sentimental boom: In this phase falling in love takes place, and it seems that everything will go very well, that we are lucky to have met that person and that he is by our side. Everything is perfect and our dreams are projected as reality together with that person. However, this stage usually disappears as soon as it appears.
- Second stage of doubts: since the report has weak foundations or shallow roots, questions can arise about its reliability. Nothing is as good as the beginning and you really don’t know what’s going to happen. uncertainty appears.
- Third phase of emotional flight: the person in question flees the relationship. She leaves us, perhaps without appearing or giving any explanations. Contact can be severed radically and it is not uncommon for that person to never be heard from again.
Why can this emotional flight occur?
When one of the people disappears from the relationship due to Houdini syndrome, it is normal that nothing more is known about them
There can be 3 factors whose simultaneous action would be equivalent to an explosive cocktail:
- Immaturity: derived from the little emotional education that some people have. Many have stereotypical ideas of what relationships should be like and don’t know how to handle them. There is also a fear of commitment or an inability to plan one’s life.
- individualistic society: Today’s society, as we have anticipated, no longer attaches importance to stable relationships, the formation of families and sex as an expression of love and transcendence. Instead, these values ​​have been mistaken for a kind of misunderstood freedom that manifests itself as individualism.
- Internet, social networks and new technologies: social networks give the impression of having dozens of potential partners at hand, people who consider each other reservation, who write to us, send us photos. In these circumstances it is difficult to concentrate and be with only one person, giving up the others, according to the stereotype that imposes itself.
Houdini syndrome isn’t the only option
In conclusion, perhaps for many the situation is not the most propitious, but we must avoid being victims of escapes, or avoid doing it ourselves. Houdini syndrome is common in liquid society, but it’s not the only behavior option.
As, we have to take care of the person we are with. We shouldn’t play with the feelings of others, just as we should take care of our self-esteem and face the fear that implies the supposed resignation of a multitude of couples.
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