Almost all of us are looking for a person who is perfect for us. start an enduring romance that lasts. However, and as we well know, the issue is more complicated than it might seem.
Establishing lasting romantic relationships is not easy. In our ability to do this, the emotional, past, physical and psychological aspects are mixed in such a complex way that we rarely get to control them.
Some keys to gaining lasting love
We might think that fate or the people we cross on our path are a matter of luck. However, the reality is that it all starts within us. Here we leave you some keys that can help you achieve lasting love.
To achieve lasting love, it is essential to take care of our self-esteem
Some psychologists believe that when we most need to have a lasting relationship, we probably have a low self-esteem problem.
If we are desperately looking for someone who is safe and loving, perhaps the problem is in ourselves.
In such cases, it is better to clarify the landscape and ask ourselves what we really need before making hasty decisions. If we are faced with a low self-esteem situation, then we are not ready for a healthy relationship.
Conversely, people who have high esteem don’t always think about finding someone. They don’t need anyone to be there for them. Always.
Don’t idealize love
How we see love can be another drawback to finding it. There are many preconceived ideas prejudices and a wrong cultural learning about what a relationship should be like.
“In search of prince charming”, “get married and live happily ever after” and the classic “if you love me you will not see anyone else” are just a few expressions that highlight the problem. The worst is when we base our emotional life on these myths.
Unfortunately, in many cases, things don’t work that way. Each person has a unique and different affective perspective.
Furthermore, the dynamics of interpersonal relationships are much more complex than a fairy tale.
The couple is not an object
The combination of low self-esteem and falling in love almost always culminates in the spoiled jealousy.
There are those who tend to think that a serious relationship implies the acceptance of every whim. However, this is completely false.
- Actually, building a pair does not imply a possession situation. And it is that no human being is a property.
- Despite being in relationship, each subject is a free, autonomous being and has the right to make his own decisions.
Uncontrolled jealousy has ended more relationships than people think.
Decidedly, lasting love is about building consensus and negotiating. Therefore, each part should feel free, respected and loved.
Take on the crises
Lasting love has several stages and that implies it not everything will be perfect.
Sexual attraction, falling in love and the materialization of the couple as an element that defines our actions are just a synthesis of everything that happens between two human beings who are committed.
If we ask those who have achieved long relationships, they will confirm this. Crises are an important part of any relationship, because they shape it..
Being together after them can make the bond stronger and stronger.
However, for this reason, solutions cannot be based on what only one of the interested parties wants. Before we focus on what we want from our “better half,” we need to ask ourselves, “What can I do to make everything better?”.
Lasting love is what nourishes
It’s easy to give up and fall in love at the beginning of a relationship. This is usually because we are affected by intense hormonal states and renewed illusions that feed our spirits.
However, the difficult thing is to keep it going over the years.
Lasting relationships are those in which affection is cultivated over the years. We can never run out of caresses, flatteryunderstanding and the rest of the affective manifestations.
Doing it should be a pleasure, but also a discipline. Another way to feed affection is learn to put yourself in each other’s shoes and avoid unnecessary quarrelsreplacing conflict with active negotiation.
nobody said it was easy
In conclusion, being able to get along with one person to form a marriage or a lasting relationship is not easy.
What is sought is to penetrate a set of vital areas: psychological, emotional, spiritual, moral, sexual and social.
This doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Indeed, there are many possibilities when we do our best alongside a candidate with whom we have striking similarities.
After, the work will be to adapt to the differences and continue to build.
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