When we meet a lying person on the street, we distance ourselves or minimize what they say. But we’ve asked ourselves more than once how to deal with a family member or friend who lies to us.
There are many things that go through our minds after hearing the first lie… Do we face it or do we walk away? How do we live with this person whom we like, but do not fully trust?
We talk about difficult situations because we are torn between caring and what is right, or even risking any kind of harm. However, there are ways to treat beloved liarwhether an adult or a child.
How to treat a family member or friend who lies to us?
Understanding why a family member or friend is lying to us
Perhaps we have already spotted the lie and this has seemed like an impressive discovery that baffles us. But much more important than that understand the reasons why the person lies.
This will tell us, among other things, if the lies are too serious or if the loved one is too harmful to keep close to us. Indeed, not all lies are the same; some are serious and some are unnecessary.
People may lie to avoid conflict, for personal insecurity, or to assert themselves in front of others.as pointed out by this study published in Journal of behavior and law. These cases aren’t that problematic, but if behind the lies there are addictions, violence, money or serious damage for us, the situation changes completely.
Don’t use the word liar
Dealing with a liar rarely generates positive changes. Even if we have all the evidence and the person admits it, that won’t stop them from lying. Even worse; this will put you on alert and make you feel wary.
All of this means that the deceived is not the only one who distrusts: Even liars who feel trapped easily enter that dynamic.
Pointing out or asking questions will only encourage them to perfect their deceptions to avoid getting caught. The best thing, however, is to take a step forward to avoid even bigger conflicts or lies.
trust and sincerity
A family member or friend who lies to us is not just a throwaway person. Therefore, it is up to us to change that. you have to try encourage positive feelings and relationship-enhancing interactions interpersonal. Our speech must aim to save the importance of trust and sincerity at all times. After all, not even a liar likes to be lied to.
Take measures so as not to be surprised
Anyone who expects something from a liar gradually loses trust. And, with her, those that follow have been of insecurity because we don’t know what can happen. This is what we call uncertainty.
Of course we will always want this loved one to change, but if life teaches us anything, it’s that people don’t change. Much better than keeping hope is to be realistic, knowing that worst-case scenarios can always happen.
Let’s remember that chronic liars are selfish, uncommitted, and with an enormous capacity to get us into trouble.as this exhibits work done by psychiatrist Carlos Sirvent Ruíz. Therefore, the best thing to do is to take precautions and not expect anything from a family member or friend who lies to us.
Have a personal position or decision
If we have a family member or friend who lies to us, the prudent thing to do is stop him from running our lives or have a decisive role in it. His lie should be a wake-up call to stop counting on him and take control of our future.
Once aware of the harmful attitude we have two alternatives. Either we are their victim or we are only concerned with creating a dynamic of coexistence in which we are not involved. Anything is possible with attitude, a little wit and common sense.
This means that there will not always be a need to move away completely if it is a parent, child, sibling or even a close friend. But set boundaries, avoid addiction, and don’t give them overwhelming responsibilities yes, it will be essential.
What if we have a family member or friend who lies to us and whom we value very much?
The main thing is to avoid emotional exhaustion. Distancing doesn’t have to be related to stopping wanting. We provide support as much as possible to deal with a family member or friend who lies to us.
Finally, if lies have problematic consequences, then it might be time to think about distancing. Having someone lie to us in our lives can be dangerous, exhausting and put ourselves in compromising situations.
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