Starting a fresh start in a relationship is something we sometimes want to do. Either because we asked the other person or because both members of the relationship reached that agreement. However, we are not aware of the risks this entails.
When we decide to start from scratch, we do it with a lot disappointment. However, everything we have experienced with that person that has led us to want to “restart” the relationship will not go away.
Starting over from scratch won’t make you forget
We may want to start fresh with our partner because we have been unfaithfulFor example. Therefore, we promise that we will never do the same again. However, this request can be a way of fooling ourselves.
Do we really know that we will never make the same mistake again? We are so afraid to break it we lie to our partner and to ourselves? We must bear in mind that, in reality, we can never start from scratch. Because that won’t make the other person forget what happened.
What usually happens in most cases is that the other person agrees. However, over time she may seem cold and distant. This is because she can no longer trust us.
Therefore, we must be fully aware of the risks involved in wanting to start a relationship over. Because, in reality, there is no “starting from scratch” as such. We cannot make a clean slate. We are not those two strangers who knew nothing about each other.
We have lived some experiences that will continue to exist and that we will not be able to forget. This can cause hard feelings to develop and the relationship not to move forward. Maybe, instead of moving forward, we could even move further away every day.
Are you willing to forgive?
With the above in mind, if we really want to start from scratch, we must be very sure of the step we will take. Furthermore, we must know that “starting from scratch” means giving our relationship another chance by purifying everything from the past.
As we have said, it is possible for a person to agree to start a relationship from scratch. However, it may not really leave all the resentment, distrust, and bad taste in your mouth that this bad experience may have left you.
Forgiving the other person can be very difficult if they have been unfaithful to you. or you have done some action in which you have completely lost our trust. Here because, It’s important to get rid of all those emotions. Furthermore, it is advisable to leave them behind so as not to blame them or influence this new opportunity that we are giving ourselves.
You don’t have to force anything. In the event that it proves impossible to do so, we have to be honest and say “no” to starting from scratch. In this way we will avoid harming ourselves and the other person. Also we will prevent the relationship from becoming something very destructive for both of us.
The illusion that falls apart
If we can be aware of all of the above, be honest with ourselves and say, “no, I can’t start over because you hurt me and I won’t be able to continue as if nothing happened”, then we will drop the blindfold of illusion.
Many couples who want to start over do it based on an illusionunrealistic hopes and expectations. They don’t take into account that they are still in pain and that they need time to heal. Nor are they generally aware that because of the negative experiences they’ve had, the relationship is completely broken.
However, It is very difficult for us to assume that our love relationship has failed. So we try the impossible, knowing deep down what the real outcome will be.
You don’t have to do that much damage. It is true that there will be people who will be able to start over because they truly know how to forgive. However, this is not something that is simple and that everyone can do.
Can we really resist not blaming the other for everything we’ve done? Will we avoid doing the same to him for revenge? We respond to all of this with true honesty and without judging ourselves for it.
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