When communicating with someone, what we say is as important as what we do with our hands, facial expressions and movements. People say it gestures make up 65% of the communication process. Despite this, surely you’ve come across people who don’t look each other in the eye when they speak. What is it about?
We’ll try to understand it, and we’ll do it on the basis of scientific reasons, which explain why there are people who don’t make eye contact. Sure, let’s avoid the guesswork, like if he’s in love with you or feels remorse for something he did. If it is a frequent attitude, it is likely that some condition is causing the inability to make eye contact.
Reasons why people don’t make eye contact when they talk
Before introducing you to the reasons why people don’t look you in the eye when they speak, we have to warn you of one thing: not in all cases there will be a condition that explains this attitude. There are people who simply don’t make eye contact out of preference and also because it interrupts the process of recreating a speech.
In this regard, in the a item Posted in Cognition in 2016 it should be noted that eye contact can interrupt some cognitive processes during conversation. Some people may have this more sensitive mechanism, so they will prefer to look at the ground, at their hands or at a vacuum, in order to concentrate on what they are saying and what they are feeling.
In addition to this, there are other conditions that explain why people don’t make eye contact. We have collected 5 of the most important ones and explain what is hidden behind them.
1. Social Anxiety Disorder
Social Anxiety Disorder, also known as social phobiais described as the irrational fear that occurs in someone in a certain context. In this sense, speaking in public, sharing a space with many people and dealing with strangers, for example, can become an unbearable situation.
I agree with you researchers, up to 6.5% of the population suffers from social phobiaSo it’s a very common ailment. It goes beyond shyness, as it occurs chronically. The whole life of the affected person is turned upside down, so that his work, his friendships, his studies and his free time are compromised.
Now, this disorder develops differently in people, though avoiding eye contact is one of the classic symptoms. Let’s look at other signs of social phobia:
- Stiff body posture during communication.
- Speak very softly.
- Sweating, trembling and flushing.
- Tachycardia.
- Fearful attitude (especially in front of strangers).
- Uncontrollable urge to avoid places where there are many people.
These are just some of the symptoms of this disorder, so it’s not something that can go unnoticed. It’s so intense sometimes people can lose their jobs, drop out of school, and become completely isolated of society.
2. Asperger’s Syndrome
This is one of the conditions that make up autism spectrum disorder (ASD). In general terms, affects the ability to socialize and communicate with the rest.
THE Education indicate that up to 87% of patients with this syndrome avoid eye contact. They consider it useless, as well as annoying and forced. Or they just don’t know that they have to set it up.
Other aspects of communication that are affected by Asperger’s syndrome are facial expressions, body posture and the use of the hands to accompany speech. AS, their communication can also appear robotic, standardized, and even encrypted.
3. Shyness
In tune with social phobia we find shyness. Not all shy people suffer from social phobia.It’s something that needs to be taken into consideration beforehand. However, they do share some traits that are less developed. Nor is it a single or general attitude, but it manifests itself differently in each person.
And for this some experts have proposed the following classification: shy-sociable, shy-asocial, not very shy-sociable and not very shy-asocial. A symptom that more or less everyone shares is gaze deviationthere may even be zero eye contact during the speech.
In itself it is not a disorder, even if it can compromise social interactions. of the person. It can also evolve into episodes of anxiety or depression, so it is advisable to seek professional help to overcome shyness and thus avoid these and other sequelae.
4. Low self-esteem
Another possible explanation for why people don’t make eye contact is low self-esteem. This is the set of negative perceptions, feelings and thoughts towards oneself. There are many ways low self-esteem manifests itself in a person.some of which are evident in the communication process.
For example, speaking softly, being afraid to express or defend opinions or viewpoints, feeling uncomfortable in large groups, and, of course, avoiding eye contact. Those who suffer from low self-esteem fear being judged at all timesso he will try to go unnoticed in every possible way.
5. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Finally, people who don’t make eye contact are also likely to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. It is a chronic condition that has multiple manifestations, starting in childhood and can extend into adulthood.
A variety of elements are conjugated in such a way that these people avoid eye contact. For example, It is difficult for them to do their homework, they tend to get distracted easily, some activities cause them restlessness and are unable to carry out orders or commands.
There isn’t always a reason
Keep in mind what we told you at the beginning: sometimes there is no objective reason for this behavior. Some people prefer to focus on their ideas and thoughts when they speak so that they don’t lose track of what they are saying. This can lead them to drop sign language, which includes making or not making eye contact.
And, of course, many other conditions can explain why people avoid eye contact when communicating; There are also transient situations, such as distraction due to worry, insecurity, tiredness, which can explain this.
Fortunately, all explained situations can be treated and the person can learn interaction skills and achieve better results when communicating; so that, to a greater or lesser extent, normative social relations can be established.
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