Why can’t children be forced to kiss?

For young children, a kiss is a sign of affection. They usually kiss their parents, siblings or grandparents as an act of expressing love. Therefore, when faced with a stranger, this action can make them uncomfortable and they may even refuse to do it. Children shouldn’t be forced to kiss..

Before doing so, you need to ask them if they feel comfortable kissing goodbye. The little ones should have the ability to choose how to greet peoplethat is, whether you want to do it with a kiss or with your hand.

Knowing and setting limits is one of the foundations of children’s growth. This also has to do with emotional limits. Every little one can choose whether or not to stay close to a person.

Some parents think their kids are being rude because they don’t kiss. But there are many ways children can show off their good manners. Handshakes, greetings upon arrival, or a pat on the back are signs of good manners.

Reasons not to force children to kiss

It’s healthy for parents to have an open conversation with their children about love and nurturing. Expressions of affection must be understood as a spontaneous way of expressing love. While good manners and politeness show respect for other people.

Child kissing his mother
The expressions of affection that a little one expresses to his parents and his immediate circle are different from those he expresses towards others.

While children should be nice to adults, they shouldn’t be forced to kiss.. This way they are able to set their own limits in the face of the unknown.

It’s important not to force kisses on babies, as this can make them vulnerable. The little ones They can assume a very accommodating attitude showing politeness and affection. This can expose them to a situation of harassment or abuse.

So like this study conducted by psychologist Pepa Horno GoicoecheaHugs, kisses, and hugs are levels of intimacy that should never be forced, which parents often do.

Abuses usually occur with people close to the child and it can occur because of a desire to show affection. They end up being forced to please and can’t say no to physical contact.

Respect your child’s wishes

From a certain age some children stop kissing or kiss less often than before. Maybe it’s because they’re shy, don’t like the person, or just aren’t in the mood for it.

But if the little one doesn’t want to show affection, should we insist? No, you must avoid forcing children to kiss. Put yourself in their shoes and try to imagine how embarrassing it would be for you to kiss someone when you don’t want to.. How would you like to feel?

Kissing shouldn’t be a sign of good manners.

Although for adults a kiss is a sign of good manners and a normal way of saying goodbye, For the little ones, a kiss is a way to show affection to loved ones..

children with good manners
Kissing is not synonymous with good manners. All over the world there are general paradigms which, on the contrary, are.

Good manners are rules of behavior and courtesy that you should teach your child to incorporate into their day. Instead of forcing children to kiss, Make sure when they arrive at a place they greet with a “Good morning; good late; good night”.

kisses have meaning

A kiss is a social norm. It is customary that when greeting or saying goodbye to someone, it is done with a kiss. For children, it’s a show of love, so it’s not fair for them to force kiss.

Children shouldn’t be forced to do something they don’t want to do.. Not to mention making them feel bad about themselves for refusing. Don’t take their denial as an offense; interpret it as his point of view.

In the book not a kiss by force Teach the little ones that they don’t have to give kisses if they don’t want to and detail all the types of kisses there are, how they are and who to give them to.

Your child will not walk away

Sometimes children go through phases where they refuse to kiss, even from their parents or close relatives. This doesn’t mean that your child will become more withdrawn about his feelings. He will give kisses when he really wants and feels like it. If you force a child to kiss, you will only push him away from you.

By forcing children to kiss, they can make themselves more vulnerable to abuse.

Even if it seems exaggerated, if you force a child to kiss when they don’t want to, they’ll be more likely to approach strangers. If he doesn’t learn to refuse physical contact with other people from an early age, he may develop the idea that being affectionate with strangers is synonymous with politeness.

Forcing a child to kiss can convey the idea that he doesn’t own his own body. It’s important to teach little ones that they are in control of their bodies, otherwise they may become more complacent and passive.

As for forcing children to kiss each other…

In order for a child to say hello and say hello with a kiss, it is important to ask him directly if he wants to do it. You shouldn’t be pressing her to do it and you should make it clear that it’s because she wants it, and it’s just a way of saying hello. “Do you want to greet your cousin with a kiss?” if he says no, you need to leave him alone.

Generally, As children grow older, they begin to differentiate love kisses from courtesy kisses. The fastest way to learn this is to watch parents say hello and kiss. This way they will end up mimicking that behavior and adapting to social norms.

Finally, parents need to have an open conversation with their children about the difference between being polite and being loving. Affection must arise naturally, It shouldn’t be a way to please others.

The post Why you can’t force children to kiss first appeared in research-school.

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