Dealing with the aftermath of a breakup is something most of us have to do in our lives. According to the level of experience, maturity, attachment or expectations regarding the relationship the break can be managed better or worse. One of the most frequently asked questions is why my ex partner doesn’t talk to me after the breakup. Today we tell you the possible reasons and write some reflections.
Communication is undoubtedly one of the channels that allows you to verify that the relationship with your partner has come to an end. You go from talking to her every day to never doing it again. While it is true that some still occasionally communicate, most relationships end this bridge of communication. Let’s see what’s behind it.
Communication after a breakup
Sometimes couples tend to communicate more after breaking up, the more years they have spent together and the greater their commitment to the union.
The investment that has been made in a relationship could be a good predictor of the degree of communication that will be maintained at the end. But that is not all. As pointed out by researchers, the attachment and intimacy that existed between the two also determine the communication process after the romantic breakup.
The matter becomes even more complicated when we add social networks to all these variables. Spying on or monitoring your ex partner is a common practice, which can lead, according to Education AND researchin what is known as digital angst.
The levels of distress increase when one realizes that the ex partner has followed the course of his life, made new experiences, started new projects and achieved goals without having communicated it.
In addition to anguish, the discovery of all this can also translate into episodes of anxiety and depression. As we will see later, there are several reasons why they preferred to stay on the sidelines.
4 reasons why my ex won’t talk to me
The first thing you need to know about why my ex partner won’t talk to me is, in general, there’s no reason to do this. Even when the relationship has ended on good terms, one has to assimilate that it has broken up. So did the habits or practices they used to do together.
Apart from this reflection, we propose 4 reasons why my ex partner doesn’t talk to me. While of course we can look at many others, most cases can be explained through these contexts. Let’s see each of them in detail.
1. You need space
One of the reasons my ex doesn’t talk to me is that he needs space. Space to reconsider your present and your future, to assimilate the breakup, to think about what attitude you should take and organize her life now that she is alone.
It is natural that during this process you want to stop all communication. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be able to handle these reflexes. This happens despite both having decided to end the relationship by mutual agreement.
2. Go through the stages of breaking up
As we have already told you, there are 8 stages of a breakup. Some of them, such as the isolation, anxiety, acceptance or improvement phase, require or are characterized by the interruption of communications with the ex partner. Namely, half of the breakup stages involve a disconnect that affects the communication you have with her.
To this we must also add the emotional level. Again, even when the end of the relationship has been planned by both of you, it is impossible to escape the feelings. It’s much easier to control them in the absence of the memory than when it’s permanently reinforced with a text, a call, or when it’s shared in a space with that person.
3. He has some kind of resentment
Another possible explanation for why my ex doesn’t talk to me is that he harbors some sort of resentment. This may seem because the breakup wasn’t mutually agreed upon, she didn’t give everything to make it work, or because all of her plans and her future were in that relationship.
There are many reasons to harbor resentment. This can manifest itself in two ways: through insistent communication or through its absolute absence. Be that as it may, it is more common than you think, it all depends on the characteristics of the breakup or on the relationship itself.
4. There is no particular reason
Although the scenarios described are perfectly achievable, in reality there may be no particular reason. He just decided to continue with his life, implying that he left the past in the past. You’ve made new friends, you’ve met someone, you spend all your time at work or pursuing a new hobby.
There is no obligation to continue to maintain a communication channel with an ex partner, even from a moral point of view. If that person believes they have given it their all in the relationship and the breakup was mutually agreed upon, then there is nothing wrong with them deciding to go a different route.
Should I be concerned if my ex partner won’t talk to me?
No, you shouldn’t worry if your ex won’t talk to you. The more you worry, the more your anxiety will increase. As we have just explained, and from an objective point of view, there are no valid reasons to continue communicating with your ex partner. This is when there is no reason to do so (there are children involved or other interests, for example).
Some couples remain good friends after their relationship ends. However, and if we are 100% honest, this is not the rule. For most it’s better to mark an end, start a new life and move away from the past. This doesn’t have to affect you, you just have to assimilate it and choose to do the same with your life.
Of course, if there are interests at stake, the ideal is to establish a channel to communicate. If this is the case for you, you should talk about it with your ex partner so as not to completely collapse the bond that once united them. Otherwise, what’s in between can be harmed, whether it’s a child, an investment, a pet, or anything else.
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